I haven’t written anything in awhile. Months, actually.
It’s probably because I have spent the last few months chronically checking the fern selection at Michael’s Craft Store.
Or trying to win the Lay’s Do Us A Flavor sweepstakes.
While this has been going on, everyone has grown concerned that I am on drugs.
I don’t know why, but it could be because just last week I told someone that my soul spoke to me and told me I was going to win.
Or because I always have red eyes from chronic eye infections.
Or maybe it’s because I believe ghosts rule this earth through a parallel universe.
Either way, I’m not on drugs. I’m too afraid to do drugs.
But ghosts are real.
And soup would be an amazing chip flavor.