My mom flew out to come to my show in Milwaukee. She was really excited about it and would not stop telling everyone that came within five feet of her.
“She’s a COMEDIAN.”
After she told all of the hotel receptionists, I pulled her aside.
“Mom, you have to stop telling people that. They are going to think I’m a much bigger deal than I actually am.”
“Okay! Okay! Fine! I’m going to the hotel bar.”
I’m in our hotel room getting ready, when I get a call from one of my college friends.
“Maria? Are you at the Hilton?”
“I’m bartending, and your mom is down here. She says you have a show tonight?”
“OH MY GOD.”
I can hear her chatting away in the background.
She comes back upstairs, “Mom! What did we JUST talk about?”
Smiling and shrugging her shoulders, “I know, I know! I told one more person!”
While on our way to my show, we were waiting for the elevator and my mom and I were staring down at the floor.
“This carpet looks like one of those old screensavers.”
My mom continued to stare at the carpet, and said, “Yeah…and this hotel is really old. So…this carpet is ahead of it’s time, really.”
Then we both stood there in silence until the elevator arrived.
As my mom got into yet another conversation with the other passengers about my upcoming show, I had a realization.
Oh my God, my mom and I are more alike than I thought.
This thought became more true throughout the night when I saw my mom directing my friends to the bathroom by saying, “Just take a left at the guy with the fedora.”
Which slowly dwindled into her saying, “It’s by the fedora.”
During the show, as I’m performing, I can hear my mom in the back saying to everyone seated around her, “It’s true! That actually happened.”
At the end of the show, my mom kept saying, “I think your friends like me more than they like you!”
As I was talking to the booker, I looked over and saw my mom talking to all the other comics that were in the show.
“She’s one of nine kids! She’s a little troubled. A little troubled.”
“Maria, I told them how you’re one of nine kids. And that you are a little troubled.”
“Yeah! Stop saying that!”
She turns to all of them and whispers, “Do you see what I mean?”